brief update

so today is the twentieth day i have not smoked. not one. and you know what? i'm starting to care less and less. as luck would have it, i now have some kind of illness where my throat feels like rocks live in the back and i ache, as if i still were smoking.

nyc was wonderful, so good to see my family, all the kids, my new nephew--sassy girl had a really fabulous time. it was a little alarming walking through the city with her, though, she got a lot of male attention--grown up male attention--and even a photographer approached her in Tompkins Square Park to ask how old she was. NOT OLD ENOUGH, dammit. it is freaky having this beautiful daughter who now gets mistaken for someone much older than she is.

even by family, who have a difficult time knowing how to respond to her because of her confusing liminal position right now. this was the cause of some friction between me and my brother (from here on out known as brother slack)--which is quite sad. i actually responded to this situation honestly (which i'm not so good at because i prefer to avoid family conflict--why?--because my family is SUPER intense). now he won't talk to me. you know, you just get to a point where playing the game dishonestly doesn't work, even though the consequences are often larger than you would like.

we've been enjoying summer immensely so far--swimming everyday, working in the garden, doing light reading and writing, listening to music together at night. it is good to spend time with mr. whore again cause i really do like him. then we go on a family vacation on Sunday, which is awesome, and the only time we spend close time with the kids all year. no computers, no work.

i've been assigned my first office. i feel like a grown up. it is pathetic but SO exciting. i get to move in shortly--hooray! i hope everyone is enjoying some down time this summer.....